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Lyrics:Skipper Dan
Lyrics: (Lyrics in brackets are spoken as if it was said through a Cruise speaker) I starred in every high school play (Pep, pep) Blew every drama teacher away (Pep, pep) I graduated first in my class (Pep, pep) At Juilliard (Pep, pep) Took every acting workshop I could (Pep, pep) And I dreamed of Hollywood (Pep, pep) While I read my Uta Hagen (Pep, pep) And studied the Bard Hit the boards and paid my dues And got phenomenal rave reviews I knew the world was gonna love me Without a doubt I was sure that Tarantino would be callin' me on my phone Annie Liebowitz would shoot me for Rollin' Stone But the years have come and gone and I'm sorry to say That's not the way that it's all worked out I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride Skipper Dan is the name... And I'm doin' 34 shows every day And every time it's the same (Woah-oh!) Look at those hippos, they're wigglin' their ears Just like they've done for the last 50 years Now I'm laughin' at my own jokes, but I'm cryin' inside 'Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride (Do, do do-do) (Pep, pep) (Do, do do-do) (Pep, pep) Oh the critics they used to say, (Do, do do-do) (Pep, pep) "I was the new Olivier." (Do, do do-do) (Pep, pep) Thought I'd be the toast of Sundance (Do, do do-do) (Pep, pep) Or maybe Cannes (Do, do do-do) (Pep, pep) Ah, but don't bother tryin' to IMDB me The only place you might possibly see me Is ridin' my little boat around Adventureland! It ain't exactly what I planned But I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride Skipper Dan is the name... And I'm doin' 34 shows every day And every time it's the same (Woah-oh!) I would've killed if I'd been in Speed-the-Plow But what's the difference that's all behind me now 'Cause I'm payin' the rent and I'm swallowin' my pride And I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride I should be there on Broadway Knockin' 'em dead in 12 Angry Men But instead I'm here tellin' these lame jokes Again and again and again and again And again and again and agaaaaaaain! Na-na-na-naaa, na-na-na-na-na-na tigers can jump over 20 feet... Na-na na, na-na-na... an African Bull-Elephant... Na-na-na-naa-na-na-na naa-na-na-na it is. The backside of water! Na-na na na-na-na have I done with my life? I should've listened when my Grandfather said, "Why don't you major in business instead?" Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died And I'll probably work forever as a Tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride Skipper Dan is the name (Bop doo-waa) And I'm doin' 34 shows every day, And every time it's the same (Woah-oh!) Look at those hippos, they're wigglin' their ears Somebody shoot me, 'cause I'm bored to tears! Always said I'd be famous, I guess that I lied 'Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride (Woo-ooh) I'm still workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride! Back to Skipper Dan Skipper Dan